User blog:Undead RVD/Saints Row the Third Tournament: Mr. M. C. F--ker vs Fire Cat
The Third Match is Here Mr. M.C. F--ker the Fourth, The "Divine-Right Pimp"... VS. Fire Cat, the Enigmatic pyromaniac who hates white people... WHO IS DEADLIEST! Intro Shot is on Zack and Bobby "Welcome Back, folks, to Steel-War Tournament III! Bobby, tell us what the match is now." "Zack, this match is between the overtly long named Mr. M.C. F--Ker the Fourth, because being the Third is overrated, Claus and the unknown Fire Cat! Folks, this tournament has just gotten WEIRD!" "You said it Bobby! Mr. M.C. says he is "blessed" by the Pimp-God-Overlord-Omega Man-Extremus, 'Lil Slim 'Nem Dray Dawg Boy K-Wayne 23 Cent Christ Brown West... that is a mouthful! I thought M.C.'s name was long!" "It is but our boy is nothing like his opponent. No one knows ANYTHING about the ever strange Fire Cat. The only thing I heard is that he is trying to reenact the Jim Crow Laws." "Why would he do that?" "Apparently, he hates white people." "Well THAT is odd! Let's check up on their weapons and see if they are packing just as weird stuff." Mr. M.C. F--Ker the Fourth(User:Dr. Las Moore) Info: Blessed with the power of being a pimp by the Pimp-God-Overlord-Omega Man-Extremus, 'Lil Slim 'Nem Dray Dawg Boy K-Wayne 23 Cent Christ Brown West, Mr. M.C. F--Ker the Fourth, because being the Third is overrated, Claus built an empire out of all the hoes and female dogs in Steelport, he hired many enforcers and will do anything to protect his "business". Mr. M.C. F--ker is an extremely vulgar motherf--ker, motherf--ker. He likes yelling, guns, pecs, and explosions, along with other manly man things like rap, metal, choppers, beards, and captilzation marks. (don't ask me, I wasn't the one who wrote it) Saints Row Penatrator.png|Penatrator 600px-SW3 KA-1 Kobra.jpg|KA1-Kobra CyberBlaster FriendlyFire.jpg|Cyber Blaster WW ultimax lg.jpg|AS3 Ultimax Viper Laser Rifle 01.jpg|Viper Laser Rifle M2G.png|M2 Grenade Launcher WW sonicboom lg.jpg|Sonic Boom Gear: *Melee: The Penatrator *Pistol: KA-1 Kobra *Sub-Machine Gun: Cyber Blaster *Shotgun: AS3 Ultimax *Assault Rifle: Viper Laser Rifle *Explosive: M2 Grenade Launcher *Special: Sonic Boom *Homies: Gangsta (Strippers) Upgrades: Extra Ammo, Fast Reload, Extra Health, Sprint Increase, Melee Power, Damage Resistance: Bullets, Damage Resistance: Explosions The Fire Cat (User:Drayco90) Info: Little is known about the feline pyromaniac, but we do know he is trying to get the Jim Crow laws reestablished in the United States because he doesn't like white people. Saints Row Penatrator.png|Penatrator 45Shep A.jpg|45 Shepherd 830px-Tekz10 A.jpg|TEK Z-10 WW gravedigger lg.jpg|Grave Digger Togo13 large.png|TOGO-13 Chargeit.png|Satchel Charges Sonic Boom.png|Sonic Boom Gear: *Melee: The Penatrator *Pistol: Duel 45 Shepherds *Sub-Machine Gun: Duel TEK Z-10s *Shotgun: Grave Digger *Assault Rifle: TOGO-13 *Explosive: Satchel Charge *Special: Sonic Boom *Homies: Zombies Upgrades: Damage Resistance: Fire, Duel Wielding: Pistols, Dual Wielding: Sub-Machine Guns, Extra Ammo, Fast Reload, Extra Health, Damage Resistance: Bullets X-Factors Mr. M.C. vs Fire Cat 87 Destructiveness 98 Mr. M.C. F--ker is a very angry individual and loves to do violence. However, he has allot of bark to him. He acts very intimidating and uses his dear to scare people to so his bidding. the Fire Cat, however, has no bark. He doesn't say anything and loves to cause death, fire and all-about destruction. He wins in shear destructiveness. EDGE: THE FIRE CAT 97 Spirit 84 The Fire Cat loves to set fire to the world with a passion. However, M.C. does EVERYTHING with a deep passion. He has ALLOT more energy in him and his actions. EDGE: MR. M.C. FUCKER THE FOURTH 64 Tactics 68 Neither warrior is very tactical. They mainly just shoot, cause explosions, set fires and do other chaotic things. The thing that gives the Fire Cat an up on M.C. is his a deep love for fire and that his zombies doesn't mind being on fire. Cat sets fire to zombies and let them set fire to anything and everything they see. Really, this is not a bad tactic. EDGE: FIRE CAT 94 Durability 94 Both warriors can take hell. Both can take bullets, M.C. can survive explosions and the Fire Cat is fire resistant. They are tough in different ways, making them even. EDGE: EVEN Expert Opinions Bobby speaks first: "These two are neck and neck. Both love chaos and are tough as hell!" "That is Right Bobby! Finding a winner shouldn't be easy. Let's see what Tammy Toliver to get the Expert opinions on this. Tammy?" Mr. M.C. F--ker the Fourth Argument Tammy Toliver is standing next to M.C. F--ker "Hello, Zack. I am actually going to interview the Pimp himself. Mr. M.C. Why do YOU think you are going to win this match?." "MISTAH EEM-CEE MOTHAF--KIN F--KAAAAAAA IN DA HOOOOOOOOOOOOUSE, BOI! JUST HERE TO TELL YOU ALL WHY I AM CLEARLY THEE SUPERIOR MOTHAF--KIN WARRIAH, MOTHAF--KA. A'IGHT SO FIRST OFF I GOT SOME MOTHAF--KIN STRIPPERS AS MAH HOMIES AND S--T. DAZ RAD, IF YA'LL ASK ME. SECOND OF ALL- I AM A PIMP. GRANTS ME A F--KIN WIN. THIRD OF ALL, I SURVIVED THE APOCALYPSE. FUCK YOU MAYANS. I HAVE SUPAH DOOPAH TRAINING IN REAL LIFE, AND IN CALLADOODEH, GOT TEEEM TACTICAL NUKES AND UAVS ONLINE. I GOT DA SMARTZ, FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF SCHOOLY SCHOOL SMARTNESS, AS WELL AS EXCESSIVE WATCHING OF JEOPARDY, DISCOVERY, AAAAND HISTOREEH CHANNEL. BAD. ASS. I AM AN EXPLOSIVES EXPERT, I BLOW SHIT UP, ALL DA FUCKIN' TIME. LIKE MY MANSION IN AFRICA. THEN, I HAVE MORE ADVANCED AND TECHNOLOGICAL WEAPONRY. CYBER BLASTER, F--KA. THEN LASAH RIFLE, DIS-IN-O-GRATER, BIATCH. AND MY SONIC BOOM, GONNA BE SONIC BOOMING YOU AWAY. AND MY SHOTTIE IS A MUCH SU-PER-E-AH SHOTTIE, CUZ OF IT'S LARGER MAG, RANGE, QUICKAH REE-LOAD, AND OF COURSE, MOTHAF--KIN' SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO0O00O0O0O0O0O0OPE! AND MY EXTRA HEALTH, BULLET DAMAGE RE-SI-TEE-ANCE, MAYLAY DAMAGE POWAH, AND OF COURSE, SPRINT INCREASE. SO YHEE I SEEEE THIS AS A PRETTY EEEAY WIN IF YOU ASK ME. So yeah...... EEEEEEEEXXXXPLOOOOOOOOSIONS! "O....K. Thank you M.C." "HANG ON I AN"T DONE!" "Wait, what?" "A'IGHT SO AH DIG DIS DUN DIDDILY FUR-DOOD, BUT I STILL GON' KICK HIS ASS. NOW DIS GUY BRINGS IN DUEEL WIELDED PISTOLS AND SMGS, DATZ COO, DATZ COO. BUT HIS WEAPONS ALSO SPOUT OUT FIRE ROUNDS. AND FIREE IS BADASS. PLUS HE HAS ZOMBIES ON HIS SIDEE MAN GTFO DATZ COO. HEE DUN LIK WITEE PEOPLE, I DUN LIK CRACKAHZ EITHAH, BUT YEAH. HE APPEARS TO LIKEE DILDOS UP HIS RED FURRY ASS AND HAS THE SAMEEEE WEEAPONZ AS MEE. HE'S A DOUCHE. I'M GONNA KILL HIM. BUT HE STILL HAS COOL SHIZZ ON HIS SIDEE I'LL GIVE HIM THAT." "Oh... well....... Thank you, then!.... Back to you... Zack." Battle ‘‘In Loren Square, Downtown Steelport” M.C. and his 3 strippers are walking down the middle of the road. No one is in sight. "AWWW YEA BAYBEEES, WE'S GONNA HAVE SOME FUN AFTER THIS HERE BATTLE!" As they are walking down the street, they can hear a load noise around the corner. It is full of snarls, moans and grunts. The strippers are shaking and slowly walk back. The source of the noise is now in sight: 10 Zombies. Flaming ones to be exact. M.C. F--ker the Fourth: The Fire Cat: x15 "DA FUQ THIS COWABUNGA SHIT? RUN BAYBEES, RUN!" M.C. and his girls start running for their lives. One of his girls, dressed in a “cowgirl” theme, trips and falls. She turns over, only to see a horde swarm her. “M.C.! HELP ME! AHHHH,” The Stripper says as the inflamed zombies tear at her. Blood and guts are seen flying. One of her breast implants is seen flying out. M.C. F--ker the Fourth: The Fire Cat: x15 M.C. and his other two girls are still running. They run towards a small building with a large metal crate near it, tall enough for them to climb up onto the building. The Zombies are not far behind. "KAY BAYBEEEES, GET IN DIS HERE BUILDIN. SHIT'S BOUT TO GET FUNKY!" As the zombies come, M.C. fires his Ultimaxe and kills 5 of them. They run up the crate and M.C. follows. On top of the building, where the zombies can’s reach them, M.C. Rains down grenades from his M2 Grenade Launcher. "YEAAAAAAAAH! BLOOD AND GUTS EV-UR-EH-WARE! F@#K YA'LLZ SHIT!" The explosions are load and powerful enough to kill the remaining zombies. They all sigh in relief. M.C. notices something is wrong. He finds that one of his girls, a “military themed one, is dead, with several bullets in her head. M.C. F--ker the Fourth: The Fire Cat: x5 He looks over at a parking ramp not far behind the building they are on. He thinks the Fire Cat is there. Ha and his remaining stripper climb down and head for the Parking Ramp. As they run into it, gun fire is head. The Fire Cat fires several rounds from his TOGO-13, the same gun he used to kill that stripper, into M.C. F—ker and then retreats further into the ramp. M.C.’s stripper, “nurse” themed, runs up to him to check on him. “You OK boss?” "YEAH BITCH I'M FINE, GET THE F@#K OFF ME!" They continue up the ramp. They can’t find their enemy. Then, from above, a Molotov flies down, followed by the Fire Cat with his Duel 45 Shepherds. The Fire hits the stripper and causes her to panic. The Fire Cat kicks M.C. and forces him to drop his shotgun. M.C. pulls out his KA1-Kobra and fires at him. The Fire Cat, however, fires a couple rounds at M.C.. M.C. gets some hits in but is knocked back a ways. The Fire Cat runs up a ramp and out of M.C.’s sight. The Stripper follows him, armed with a TEK Z-10. M.C. is able to get up pretty quickly and hears a lack of gun fire. He pulls out his Viper Laser Rifle and runs up the ramp, only to find the Fire Cat with his arm around his stripper’s neck. "THESE ZOMBIES AIN'T GONNA BE THE ONLY ONES EATING YOU, BITCHES!" The Fire Cat looks at him with lifeless eyes. He then pulls his arm, cracking the stripper’s neck. He tosses her body over the ledge. "THAT WAS MY FAVORITE GIRL....I THINK HER NAME WAS MICHELLE....OR BRITNEY.....F@#K YOU ANYWAYS YOU BIG PIECE OF FURRED RED SHIT!" M.C. opens fire at Fire Cat but he dodges behind a wall. Then, the remaining zombies charge at him. He opens fire on them, too, and is able to kill them all off. M.C. F--ker the Fourth: The Fire Cat: Fire Cat then leans out his head. In a rage, M.C. fires out his Viper Laser Rifle in till it overheats. M.C. starts to fan it out when the Fire Cat pulls out his Sonic Boom and sends M.C. flying and his rifle flying further. M.C. gets up quick and pulls out his Cyber Blaster and sends out a barrage of blasts at the Fire Cat. He hits the Sonic Boom and damages it. The Fire Cat drops it and runs back behind the wall. M.C. follows him for a while. The Fire Cat turns behind another wall. M.C. follows but is met with a two TEK Z-10s pumping out flaming bullets. M.C. runs back and the two continue to exchange fire. M.C. is able to out run the Fire Cat, find a spot to wait and pulls out his Penatrator. Once the Fire Cat is close enough, M.C. runs at him. However, the Fire Cat responds by throwing a Satchel Charge M.C. Thankfully, M.C. dodges and M.C. gives off some swings. The Fire Cat dodges the attacks and the two moves up to a ledge leading outside. M.C. Keeps swinging, while the Fire Cat keeps dodging. Then the Satchel Charge runs out of time and goes off. The Explosion is powerful enough to send them both flying out and causes that level from the parking ramp to collapse. As the smoke settles, M.C. and Fire Cat start getting up. M.C. gets up first and, still holding his Penetrator, walks up to the Fire Cat, raising it over his head. "MAN YOU ARE SUCH A MOTHAF@#KIN' PAIN IN MY MOTHAF@#KIN ASS! I AM GOING TO KICK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU AND TIE YOU TO A CHAIR IN THE DESERT! RIGGED WITH EXPLOSIVES, SURROUNDED BY ALLI-SHARKS, AN ALLIGATOR-SHARK HYBRID, WITH FREAKIN LASERS ATTACHED TO THEIR FREAKIN HEADS. AS I WATCH AS YOU BLOW THE F@#K UP AND MY ALLI-SHARKS EAT YOUR CRISPY FRIED CORPSE!" Just as M.C. has his weapon over his head, the Fire Cat, at one knee, one foot, turns around, cocks his Grave Digger and fires at M.C.. M.C. flies back, with a blaze of fire on his chest. He starts to get back onto his knees but another cocking sound is heard. The Fire Cat aims his Grave Digger right at M.C.’s head. M.C. just looks up at him… and chuckles once. "SHIEEEET NEGRO! IF YOU GONNA PULL THAT MOTHAF@#KIN TRIGGER PULL THAT GODDAMN MOTHA@#KIN TRIGGER. YOU F@#KIN CAT F@#KER! ALL UP IN YOUR GAY ASS FURREH SHIT. MAN F@#K YOU. YOU PROLLY GET BONERS FROM CATS WALKING ACROSS SOME GOD DAMN STREETS, DON'TCHA BOI?! WELL GOD DAMMIT, LEAST I WON'T BE REMEMBERED FOR THAT. I AM MISTAH. EEM. CEE. M@#KAH. DA. FOURTH. BECAUSE BEING THE THIRD IS OVERRATED. CLAU-" The Fire Cat fires his Grave Digger at M.C.’s head, blasting him to smithereens. The Fire Cat then just leaves. M.C. F--ker the Fourth: The Fire Cat: An hour later A news helicopter arrives and Tammy Toliver and her news crew step out. Close by, they find the Fire Cat, sitting near a big fire. “Mr. Fire Cat! Can we have a…” Tammy notices fire is full of the dead strippers. “Uh….. Can you give us a word about your experience?” The Fire Cat stands up and just looks at Tammy. His black lifeless eyes appear to look deep into her soul. Tammy steps back and lets the Fire Cat continue watching his fire. “Well… Our champion is found! All the Cameras show this to be one bloody and very intents match. Zach, Bobby, can you give us your insight?” WINNER: THE FIRE CAT ‘‘Shot returns to Zack and Bobby’’ “Well, Bobby, what do YOU think gave Fire Cat the win?” “Zack, M.C. F—ker was defiantly more enthusiastic and gave it more of his all. His laser weapons got him pretty far and he was pretty damn aggressive. However, the Fire Cat was JUST too powerful. Almost all his weapons caused either explosions or fire, was much more precise and had so many burning zombies one his side. M.C. Was very load and proud but at the end, action speaks louder than words do, and the Fire Cat was all action.” “This one was a VERY close match. I was surprised ANYONE got out of this alive. We are very fortunate to have a winner, though.” “That is very true. But you better get ready, Zack, because Professor Genki is planning one Hell of a special match! We are going to watch a fight not from our contestants but from two groups of warriors that Genki has pulled out of time and pit them against each other for our enjoyment!” “WOW, this should be great!” Next Match To give our four new contestants more time to finish up their characters, I am going to have a few matches to entertain the masses Thanks Special Thanks to Utter noob for the Tittle Card. Special Thanks to Dr. Las Moore for providing M.C.'s ever vulgar lines Category:Blog posts